my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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