Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
