Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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