I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
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People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize