I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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