how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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