wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
A bitchslap is in order.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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