I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
