is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
