girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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