We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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