I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
