Yo dont text me then not text me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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