think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize