So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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