i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
