Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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