he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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