how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize