my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want her autograph on my taint
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
