he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dick very happy bro
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
