at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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