Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
