We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
