Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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