i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
