You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
