I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
