Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
