this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
