Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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