This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
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