You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
