god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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