I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
