At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
