Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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