the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
