ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
