Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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