if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
