Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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