Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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