Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
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Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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