Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
