When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize