my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
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