Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
