im six kinds of drunk right now
you would pick up someone in the library
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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