RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
