Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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