so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
