what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
