his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
