OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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