Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Even my vagina gasped.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
